- Ruby Birkby
I’m 16 years old and I train Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu. Being a teenage girl in a sport that is mostly made up of boys and men can feel a bit scary sometimes, but it’s also something I’m really proud of. Jiu-Jitsu has become such a big part of my life and it’s helped me build confidence, push myself and realise I’m capable of way more than I thought.
I actually started BJJ when I was 12. My dad had tried it for a short time when he was younger and always said he thought I’d enjoy it. So I decided to go along to a free trial class just to see what it was like… and I loved it straight away.
That doesn’t mean I was good though — definitely not.
When I first started, I got beaten pretty much every single session. Everyone felt stronger and knew way more than me. I remember going home after training feeling like I’d been completely squashed. But the best advice I could give anyone starting is just keep turning up. Even if you feel like you’re getting beaten all the time, you’re still learning. Slowly things start to click and you realise you’re improving without even noticing.
For a long time I was actually the only girl in the gym, which felt a bit intimidating at first. When you’re a young teenage girl walking into a room full of boys and men it can feel a bit nerve-wracking. But I didn’t let it stop me. I just kept showing up, getting stuck in and learning as much as I could.
One of the biggest changes for me was moving from kids classes into the adult classes. That jump can feel huge, especially as a girl. Suddenly you’re training with fully grown adults who are stronger, heavier and way more experienced. The first few sessions were honestly quite scary and I definitely got smashed a lot. But over time you start getting used to the pace and the strength, and it actually makes you improve so much quicker learning what your own strengths are to adapt your game.
Training with adults and especially with males has really helped my Jiu-Jitsu. You learn how to deal with pressure and strength, and it pushes you to rely on technique rather than just power.
Now there are more girls training at the gym too which is really nice. I still train with the boys and men a lot, but it’s also great having other girls on the mats and seeing more females getting involved in the sport.
Life is pretty busy now as well. I’m at college Monday to Wednesday during the day, and balancing college with training can be a challenge. Most days I’ll go to college, get the train home, and then go straight from the train station to BJJ training. I usually train for around three hours in the evening, which is a big commitment, but this is what I love doing so it’s worth it.
Competitions have also been a huge part of my journey. In my first ever competition when I was 14 and a grey belt, there weren’t many girls in my division. Instead of missing out on matches, I decided to enter the boys’ division. It was definitely nerve-wracking but I wanted the experience. I kept entering boys’ divisions whenever there weren’t female matches available, and one of my proudest moments was winning the British Open in the Teen 2 division against male competitors.
Now I’m a juvenile blue belt and I mainly compete against other females. I absolutely love competing because it lets me test myself and see how much I’ve improved. It’s also an amazing feeling to prove to yourself — and sometimes to other people — that girls can absolutely succeed in this sport.
If you’re a girl thinking about trying Jiu-Jitsu, I honestly couldn’t recommend it enough. Whether you want to get fitter, learn self-defence, make friends, compete or just build confidence, stepping onto the mats can give you so much.
A lot of gyms now even offer female-only classes if you’d feel more comfortable starting there, which is a great option.
But if you’re sitting there feeling nervous and wondering whether you should try Jiu-Jitsu or not, my advice is simple: just give it a go.
You might walk into that first class feeling scared… but you might also find something you end up loving.